Saturday, December 16, 2006

Screaming Arabs

greeted George Clooney on his recent visit to Cairo, or so reported wordsmith Mirette Mabrouk, Head Capo at the Egypt Daily Gleaner.

Seems Mirette went running down to AUC with the rest of the ladies to check out the General Hospital heart throb, and the whole thing went to her head.

“The air trembled with full-throated, bloodcurdling screams,” she reports, all aquiver.

“If the Arabs had pulled off a few of those back in Andalucia, the Spaniards would still be speaking Arabic.”

Really now. Ouch. Ouch Ouch.

Rumors that she threw an item of highly personal underwear at Mr. Clooney have not yet been denied.

And meanwhile it seems that some wacky little man in London is claiming that the People’s Superhero Princess was not in fact mown down in the prime of her miracle-working career by a lethal team of MI6 agents and House of Windsor attack dogs.

Turns out the Royal Britney Spears wasn’t wearing her seatbelt in a car being driven at 100 mph through the middle of a crowded city by a squat little security man with 14 shots of Chivas under his belt and a couple of roofies cooking up his cerebellum.

Pity. She looked so cute in that mine-clearing headgear thing.

God knows I don't want to get into a scrap with a guy who puts Cutty Sark in his granola, but Hugh! For God's sakes lighten up on evolution. Pulling some of these fishes out of the pool could clear the water a little.