The ol' Caddy

almost crapped out this morning, and in the nastiest way possible. There’s a broken sewage pipe somewhere under Kit Kat and as it splashed through the ankle deep shit-water the engine coughed and nearly died. Not so the half dozen teenaged football fans chanting in the middle of the road, waving their Zamalek team flag and blocking traffic even as the fecal matter of the neighborhood splashed over them. They seemed unbothered by the situation, but it gave me a pounding headache.

So, holding my nose and throwing back a couple of codeines left over from my last stop in Salt Lake City, I piled down into Beano’s for a coffee and, unusually, a scan through the news.

In Egypt, I saw, you have to be Muslim, Christian or Jewish. The courts say so. Bahai’s, Budhists, Zorastrians, Confuscists, Janists and the rest need not apply.

Up with the home team, and down with the rest, I thought as the codeine pressed back Saturday’s excesses and brought me a moment of startling clarity.

The politically-motivated hyperventilation in Egypt over the anodyne criticism directed at the seven women in England (eight if you count that tranny in Leeds) who wear the niqab, and the red-faced, fist-pumping idiocy that followed the circulation of a (fraudulently enhanced, let’s not forget) portfolio of mildly unamusing Mohamed cartoons, were diverting enough. Imagine what would happen if some western government came out and declared Islam a non-religion.

Maybe there’s a principle in there that one should analyze or attack or defend or something, but really, as long as they don’t throw their shit on my Caddy? They can do what the fuck they like.